Entertainment Binge

By Isaac White.

I’ve been considering adding a new element to our weekly meetings. It’s not something that will ultimately lead us down a path to the obliteration of Entertainment Binge. Unless I finally get that call to play quarterback for the 49ers. I think that’s imminent, by the way. Or it better be; after all, I’ve sent dozens of unsolicited videos to the Niners of me throwing Nerf footballs through monster truck tires 10 feet away to highlight my arm talent. That’s a football industry term, by the way. It means I’m awesome.

Clearly, I’m joking about the dozens of videos I’ve sent. It’s only one dozen. By now, you should know I’m kidding. I’d never tell you if I did any of that. It’s all for comedic effect—intended, anyway. I have no idea if you’re laughing, but I am; that’s for sure.

No, the new element I am adding is something I’ve been thinking about for a couple of weeks. In all honesty, it’s not entirely my idea. It’s something cooked up by my wife and myself. The way that I remember how this idea came to be a reality is that I was having one of my legendary brainstorming sessions, and in a moment of genius that rivals the best Einstein ever managed to give the world, I thought how fun it would be to examine movies before I watch them.

Yes, dear readers, I mean movie trailers. I thought I would check out trailers for shows and movies, then tell all of you what I saw and predict the piece’s quality. If I’m being honest, I know I said that it’s my idea. I hint that perhaps my wife played a small, inconsequential role in developing this idea. I don’t know how confident I am in my recollection. I’m sure it was her idea to talk about trailers in Entertainment Binge in the first place.

Phew, I’m glad I got that off my chest. And no, she didn’t suggest I tell all of you that she may, just maybe, have mentioned trailers first. But whatever, I’m the one who makes the magic with the things. You know, what are they called? Letters that make, oh yeah, words. It’s my genius that makes this whole thing work, and if…I’m going off on a tangent here and can’t have that again. Ha ha.

Seriously though, I pitched the idea to my son as well, and he thought it was pretty good. Of course, he seemed unsure how I would pull it off. This is fair; he walked into the living room while I was taking voice notes, which must have seemed off based on the look on his face. Fear not; we’ll try this out and go from there. If it’s not fun, I’ll do it anyway because I refuse to consider that everything I do isn’t gold.

So, let’s jump into this new venture. And I did watch something in its entirety that I will talk about with you. I’m just excited to play with my new friend. Trailers. Yes, I hear how that sounds, by the way; I don’t need you to tell me I’m strange. I’m working on a name for this new thing I’m doing here. So far, my thought is this. When you’re in the theater, they show you the “Coming Attractions,” right? As a curmudgeon, I thought about “Entertainment Binge Presents: Coming Disappointments.” I’m sticking with it. I like it. Now that that’s done let’s go.

Let’s take a nostalgic trip down Apocalypse Lane with the “Fallout” series. Yes, folks, we’re talking about the same Fallout that allowed us to wander about a post-nuclear war world. I don’t know how many of you are gamers, but if you are, there is no doubt you are aware of Fallout as a gaming juggernaut.

The trailer opens with a 50s-style video perfectly reminiscent of the games themselves. We

are treated to an excellent choice of lead for this video: Walton Goggins, who is both a fantastic comedic actor and plays him a mean villain as well. From what we see in the trailer, it looks like Goggins may take up both roles in this series.

Did I say series? Oh yes, I did. It’s a full-blown series. That’s right, dear readers. We’ve been gifted with the opportunity to dive deep into the fallout shelter of drama, exploring the world beyond the vault door with more detail than a Pip-Boy’s inventory screen.

Ella Purcell leads the charge into the wasteland, stepping into the boots of Lucy, a vault dweller who takes a chance outside the safety of the vault. It’s about time we got a heroine who can wield a Power Fist with the best of them, showing us the ropes of survival.

So, as we gear up to mark our calendars for the release date of April 11th, I’m throwing down my bottle caps on this series being a critical and personal hit. Ugh, they even had that creepy old-time music in the trailer, which is the soundtrack to the games. I’m betting this show will not be a disappointment. As with all previews I take on here, when the Fallout series drops, I’ll watch it and report back. Hopefully, my intuition is correct, and Fallout the series won’t be…Radioactive. Come on, that was funny.

I have more trailers that I want to go over, but I will run out of room. I promise we’ll talk about more trailers next week. I have one about the reboot/remake/re-imagining of Roadhouse. Maybe I’ll do it now because I can’t stop thinking about it.

Have I talked about Roadhouse with you all before? I must have at some point; it’s one of my favorite movies. Patrick Swayze (RIP) as Dalton, the ultimate bouncer with a philosophy degree and an attitude cool as a cucumber. Indeed, you’ve all seen it. If not, I’m offended and would like to file a complaint with someone because it’s a travesty if you’ve not watched that piece of cinematic perfection.

It also stars the ultimate example of cool: Sam Elliot. In Roadhouse, he plays Wade Elliot, the mentor to Dalton and one bad dude himself. I’m going on about this movie, I know, but I have to introduce it before the intro to the new Roadhouse trailer. Does that make sense? It does to me, so I’ll continue.

I heard there was going to be a remake or reboot a while ago and to be honest; I wouldn’t say I liked the idea. I may have used a whole lot of words I can’t put down here in creative ways because the idea infuriated me that much. You all know my thoughts on all of these remakes and reboots. They’re usually not good, and at times, they taint the original works with their rubbed-off trash.

Holy moly, I swear I’ve said this before. I KNOW I’ve said this before, but it doesn’t matter because it’s true. Now, while I am about as skeptical of remakes and reboots as possible, I must be honest. After watching the trailer for this new edition of Roadhouse, I am, well, I am, um, not sure it will be bad. And I don’t want to hear you say I’ve gone soft. I’m giving it as much of a chance as possible, and almost all of it is for one reason. Jake Gyllenhaal.

He’s one of my favorite actors of all time and takes on the role of Dalton. It’s a trailer, and I refuse to read too much about it, so I don’t know how faithful this new one will be to the old. But it doesn’t seem, from the trailer, that this 2024 Dalton will be similar to the 89 Dalton—the Swayze. I hope he isn’t, anyway. No one can be THAT Dalton. It wouldn’t be fair to Gyllenhaal to do that to him, and I think he’s too intelligent to fall for that anyway.

Anyway, I think this one will not be the worst, most terrible thing I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how they will get Sam Elliot in there. And I’m not making a joke here, but if they don’t have Sam Elliot in this movie SOMEWHERE, I will be furious. Yeah, I said it. We’ll find out in a couple of days because it will be released on March 21st. To be determined.

So I did watch a series I want to tell you about really quickly. REALLY quick because I’m almost out of the room. The Horror of Dolores Roach stars Justina Machada as Dolores Roach, a woman imprisoned for 16 years because she was set up by her then boyfriend to take the rap.

In the ensuing years, she became a folk legend with a Broadway show about her life. We see Dolores trying to re-integrate into civilian life, but she’s unsuccessful. She runs into trouble everywhere—getting a job, a place to live, a gentrified neighborhood she doesn’t recognize. It’s all a struggle.

Now, I can’t say too much, not only because of space constraints but also because it would spoil the show for you. Let’s say that Dolores discovers that her massage skills can be used for more than relieving tension. She can relieve someone of their stress permanently. Hiding those she has effectively removed from the census is challenging in a small space in Washington Heights.

The solution? Her new man, Luis, is innovative, and as a small business owner, he figures out how to save on space organically. You have no idea how hard I’m trying not to tell you guys everything right now. But I’m out of time.

Watch The Horror Of Dolores Roach if you can stomach some grimy content. It’s so crazy, shocking, and downright good. Think of Bones and All but lighter. That’s a good comparison.

OK, I gotta go.

Thanks for reading, and until next week…..