Valentine's Day: Extravagant or Meaningful

The focus on Valentine’s Day should be how to make a relationship last, not what one splurges on Valentine’s Day. As florists, jewelry stores, candies and chocolate manufacturers gear up for the big V Day, some say that love can never be sufficiently expressed by gifts and fancy dinners, and that receiving a heartfelt expression of love from one’s significant other is still the most memorable experience.

Yet Valentine’s Day could very well be one of the most stressful days of the year for men and women. One is trying to pick out the perfect “expression” -- the jewelry or the right restaurant -- because the gift might be judged critically by your partner as the “degree of love.” Many singles spend time and money going on dates and yet according to one recent study, over 90% of dating ends up in breakups. You could splurge and leave a deep impression on your partner on Valentine’s Days, but what next?

And for married couples, how do you keep up the passion year after year? One way is to treat your marriage as a date – you are dating your spouse for the rest of your life, keeping the relationship fresh, with passion and commitment. Remember a marriage is not an object or a piece of furniture where you buy it and then just put it aside. Love is as valuable and lasting as you are willing to work hard for it. The “fall in love” again and again phenomenon with the same person happens when you make things happen and Valentines Day could be the perfect time.

So this year, focus on meaning rather than extravagant gifts that sometimes fall by the way. Give a gift with thought and meaning and reference. Here are some suggestions:

You could take a romantic tour of the places you visited while you were dating. You could make a scarpbook of tickets, movie stubs, receipts from restaurants, or announcements you may have sent (wedding, birth, parties). Don’t forget to include photos. You could plan your future together; a new home, a vacation, a renovation, the spring garden or project you can do together from planning to execution. For those in a new relationship or for commitment phobes, you could plan a trip or an event together in the near future. Anticipation is everything. You could quit saying no to broomball or whatever his or her favorite sport and get some friends together to play a game. You could take the children for the morning or afternoon to give your significant other their own “me” time. Or you could have a friend or relative take the children for an evening for date night.

While it is true the only thing worse than having in a cheap date is being called one, but the current economic atmosphere where one should be more concerned with prudence in spending habits, a frugal date can often turn out to be the most meaningful, because you are focusing on each other and not the gift itself. Prudence should be something to be lauded rather than repudiated.