In loving memory of my son Theodore Thomas Porter

Feb. 10, 1977 – Dec. 10, 2013

This is a letter written straight from a Mother's heart... I'd like to share some words of wisdom for those parents who are suffering as I am! And I have been for 20 years now, since I lost my first son Joseph Porter. It takes all you got and then some to move forward. It's one of life's hardest journeys a parent could ever experience. Try not to look at the pain and emptiness that you're feeling...Try to remember those wonderful times you shared together, and it's weird how holidays have such an impact on how you're feeling. It's because your loved one is not there, but you have to believe he is here in Spirit.

This is the time to share all the wonderful stories about them with joy and laughter. It's also time to thank the Creator again and again for whatever time he gave you that precious child for.

Always remember those are God's children and he can take them home any time he wants. And when he does, you feel like you can't go on, it hurts so bad you feel like you're gonna go insane. That's ok, too. So cry all you need to, that is part of healing, it will make you stronger. Keep in mind that you did the best you could do, and believe me when I say time does heal all wounds, and some people need more time than others, and that's ok too. But from experience, your child will always leave you with something to hold onto.

Just to ease some of that pain, for example today I am holding on to my late son Joseph's Porter's 20 year old daughter Keesha, and my son Ted blessed me with 4 beautiful grandchildren- Isobella, Titan, Ted Jr. and Princess. They are very beautiful blessings.

In just a few days on December 10th it will be one year since my son entered the spirit world. God bless him!! May you rest in peace, Son. The holidays were always a tradition of family gatherings and it brings back so many happy memories of all the wonderful times we did get to share together. Don't get me wrong, it's one of the hardest journeys any parent could ever experience. I have a lot of support and loving friends to help me through this in a positive way and I'm struggling but that's ok because I have to have Faith.

What helps me get through are the looks in my grandchildren's faces, they have such beautiful smiles, deep dimples, the way they act so much like their Dad-they move so similar, they breathe loud while sleeping, their hair, their hands and their fat toes, and their enormous energy. Ha!! They are what helps me through life today. They complete me. I believe my sons Joe & Ted are together as always and I BELIEVE one day I will reunite with them. So until then Mom & Dad, brothers Angus & John take care of my two sons as you always did.

I need to stay strong for whatever the Creator has in store for me. I believe in Him, because children are all the Creator's children and for whatever length of time he gives us a child, embrace it – for he can take him home again in a heartbeat.

To all the people who read this have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, stay strong, keep the faith, you are all in my daily prayers. And to all the souls of the faithful departed, especially you Teddy-thank you-I love you and miss you dearly.

Love from your beautiful loving mother, Lorraine Oakes

P.S. Merry Christmas to my beautiful STRONG Native American Daughter Danielle Oakes