Settled In

We finally welcomed our new baby to the family. Big brother had a long wait. Everyday he would ask me, “How many more days until the baby is born?” Once we hit the one week mark he was beyond excited and talked about who he thought the baby would look like, hopes that the baby would have hair and lastly he was sure his baby brother would not cry much. Little brother on the other hand was quiet about it.  Since he had a hard time with the announcement that there was even going to be a baby, we watched him go through this whole process while he absorbed the future with a new brother. At first he was downright against accepting a baby. Then he was sick of anyone asking him about the upcoming baby. Then he got super clingy to me and wouldn’t let me leave him anywhere. All offers he got to sleep over at tota girls or grandmas were turned down. He’d ‘visit’ one of them but would make it clear that he wasn’t going to be sleeping over the moment he arrived. The last month of my pregnancy was especially sad. You could just see the worry and uncertainty on little brother’s face. He even began to sleep in my bed again. We let him because we knew he was just trying to savor every last moment that he was still the baby of our family. There was a few mornings that I had to leave for work early so I thought I’d let little brother sleep in and have my husband drive him over to me once he’d woken up. That wasn’t even a possibility because as soon as I’d close the front door and start walking to my car I would hear a panicked, “mommy!” Being yelled from behind me. Then of course I’d have to let him jump in with me right then and there. He’s always been a heavy sleeper so he was so worried about being separated from me that he was now waking up to any little noise in the mornings so he wouldn’t get left behind.

As the last week dwindled down to a few days before baby’s big debut, we had to have a talk with little brother. He had been saying for months that one parent had to stay with him so he wouldn’t be alone. Whenever we talked about plans of who was staying at the hospital he would chime in, “But bubba has to stay with me!” We explained to him that for one night he would have to go sleep at tota girls so daddy could help me out at the hospital. He was sad and we reassured him that even though there would be a younger baby he was still our baby and always would be. The boys ended up sleeping over at tota girls the night before I went to the hospital so they spent two nights at her house instead of just the one. Big brother was fine with it of course and surprisingly little brother did well too. They came to see us at the hospital a few hours after the baby was born and I’ll never forget what they each said to me. Big brother leaned in to hug me and very quietly asked, “You ok mom?” And little brother just stood next to my hospital bed with big sad puppy eyes and asked, “How long until you come home?” When I told him two more days he almost cried and replied, “But that’s really long!” My poor little brother has never been away from me for so many nights. Twenty-four hours is about his limit. I didn’t see the boys again until they came back with their dad to bring the baby and I home. That’s when little brother’s attitude towards the baby changed. All of a sudden he was protective and much happier. He sat in the back of the car with me and held the baby’s hand the whole ride home. It was such a relief to see that he was going to be just fine with the new addition. Once home the boys were fighting over who would help. If I asked for a baby wipe they would be racing to be the one that got it to me. If the phone rang they would jump up to answer it. It was all these little things they were volunteering for that made it so much easier those first few days home to get settled in.