Bad Guy Jokes

We do a lot of joking around at this house. Even when we have kids visiting we have to pull their leg or test out their gullibility. Last week we had a packed house. Both American and Canadian schools had a half-day so big brother had a busy afternoon. A few cousins got off the bus here in addition to one who’s getting to know us. During the day my husband came home and was getting ready to jump on his four-wheeler. One of the kids saw him putting on his facemask and grabbing a helmet. The little boy asked my husband, “Where are you going? What are you doing?” I expected him to give his usual response of “Guatemala” but to my surprise he said, “Oh, I’m going rob a bank.” Sure, we’ve all seen the bank robbers in movies with the cliché ski masks and gloves. With big eyes the little boy then asked, “Well what is the helmet for?” Without hesitation my husband said. “Oh, I need this for when I blow up the bank vault door. It keeps my head from blowing off when I use the dynamite.” As he said that out the door he went and the little boy stood there in disbelief. My kids and our cousins are used to that kind of kidding around and they continued to play without missing a beat.

About an hour passed when I heard this little boy ask the other kids, “Is their dad really going rob a bank?” The brother and sister he asked looked at each other and replied, “Yup! He always does stuff like that. He doesn’t hurt anyone though.” The kids continued to play and I had forgotten about the whole big bank robbery. Throughout the afternoon I saw the little boy looking out the window every few minutes. I thought he must have been getting lonesome or homesick. I asked him “Waiting for your dad?” He looked at me with a disappointed face and replied, “No, I am just checking.” He walked down the hallway where I heard the dumping of Legos and the sounds of a racing game on the Xbox. Then I heard the question that made me laugh so loud that all the kids came running out of Big Brother’s room. Our new buddy had asked the other children, “Does it always take him so long to rob a bank?” Before he could get his answer that is when all the kids came running out to me to ask what was so funny. Just as I was about to let the cat out of the bag the kids were distracted by a loud four-wheeler pulling up to the house. As the door opened our new buddy asked my husband very seriously, “So where’s the big bags?” My husband asked him, “What bags?” The little boy said, “You know the big bank bags with the dollar sign on them!” That’s when a whole new batch of stories emerged from the kids. They talked and laughed about random things they’ve seen that are funny. At the end of the day when all the kids had been picked up by their parents I remembered that not one of us had ever gotten around to telling our new buddy the truth that the bank robber story was a big joke. I could just imagine the story he had for his parents!