Dear Anonymous Father

Thanks for never making me feel like I’m wrong when I really am. Thanks for not gloating unless it’s something that wouldn’t hurt my feelings. Like when I left the tub on too long and flooded the bathroom, making more work for you. You really could have let me have it and never hear the end of it but didn’t, knowing that I was up all night trying to soak the water back up and ripping my bathroom apart in the process.

I also have to say thanks for catching our son’s puke with your bare hands. I didn’t know what to do when the projectile vomiting started but you did. Good Job. The idea with the cup was pure genius. I would have probably ended up with a Wal-Mart bag. And right now I’m pretty sure you’re the only who you knows what I’m talking about. Once the sadness of our poor first baby going to the hospital wore off I would have then had to shampoo, scrub, and disinfect the living room when we got home but didn’t. I just sat in the chair with that baby and went to sleep. All I had to do was comfort him, it was great.

Since you were so diligent changing and waking up with our first baby I guess I can let you slide on a few things. Hmm, maybe the one of not waking up with our new baby. I might call you lazy and bring it up way too much. But want to know a secret? I am so happy with that arrangement. I selfishly like to wake up with the baby who wants to eat and go back to sleep over the bigger baby that is screaming, “I don’t want to go to school! Leave me alone! Get out of my room!” Just how do you get Big Brother up? I tried tickling him awake like you said but he just cried and kicked me. I have no problem waking up with the baby, making breakfast, and sending Big Brother off to school. But the actual waking I think is your gift.

I appreciate you being super fast at making bottles. I wonder if Little Brother is going to end up impatient for food since it seems like he never waits. My Lean Cuisine takes longer to make than that. As long as you don’t leave a bottle on the couch or floor don’t worry about washing them and all that. Sink time is strangely my quiet stress relief time. Baby is taking a catnap, it’s really quiet in here, and I just mindlessly do it and glance over at that baby every few minutes.

You know I get frustrated when you are gone a lot for work. Maybe I complain more than I notice but I am grateful to stay home and raise these kids, even if it’s not for much longer. Thank you for having it be as important to you as it is to me. So when you are at work long or late and come home to me being grumpy let me just say thank you now because at those times all I want is to talk to you about the kids or see you play with them and you’re gone. We miss you and I have to make you feel guilty because honestly I think they like you more than they like me. You in one word to your boys is FUN.

When I think about all the times that you told the kids you loved them I think if it was physically possibly for my heart to melt it would. They’re so lucky to have a father in their life. I can’t imagine not sharing them with you. Having a dad like you has got to be pretty sweet. Sitting in a lazy boy watching the military channel past bedtime. Having someone to negotiate with their mom on their behalf about bath, toy purchases, and everything else under the sun is awesome. You big pushover, do you realize you are creating monsters who may very well own every hot wheel car ever created and have a charge account at the candy store? You love them and love to spoil them, I guess I’ll have to learn to live with it.

You can say you saw a first step, a first tooth, and first word. You were there every time your children got sick. Since day one you have bought diapers, car seats, clothes. You don’t just spoil Big Brother at Wal-Mart, you also do it grocery shopping. Looks like Big Brother has tons of fun throwing what he believes to be great dinner choices in the cart. Please continue to ignore me. I will cook and eat whatever that boy wants. Cooking two separate meals was getting difficult. However, I am the mom so it is my duty to point out the unconventional.

Dear Anonymous Father, in case I never mentioned it, thank you for everything. For stuff I mentioned and all that I left out. You’re a great father. Happy Father’s Day, from your boys and me.