Uncertainty

As my due date approaches there have been a few surprises between a month ago and now, like my health, unpacking, and my actual delivery date. This is kind of a “moms only” article so if you’re a guy and bore easily now would be the time to flip the page.

I have been so tired this pregnancy but I just shrugged it off thinking that I had a three-year-old who just turned four and if being his play buddy wasn’t tiring enough, his busy ways were. Like, “Oh you want a snack, ok…Wait let me get you a bowl first!” On the off day that Baby T would actually sit still he would be replacing that bouncy demeanor for interrogating me. Not with just basic why and how come questions either. A manual on how the universe works would be a good gift for me so I could recite the answers back to Baby T as he needed to know. That is mentally exhausting.

At first the doctor thought I was developing gestational diabetes; I shouldn’t be as tired as I am even with a busy boy at home. I took glucose tests on three separate occasions. Those aren’t too fun, you wait for an hour to take this drink that makes you wish it was orange soda and not the stuff you have in your hand. Then you have to sit at the clinic for three hours to wait to have your blood taken. However, first you have to basically starve yourself for twelve hours (fasting) before. I have always had my appointments at 8 or 9. I’m lucky if I get out of there by noon and by then my stomach hurts because I am starving. I like to eat at night before I go to bed when I’m pregnant (ok all the time) so basically to me I skipped a good three meals only to be told they still don’t know why I’m tired so we have to do the test again.

Fast-forwarding to now, I have a new doctor and he had me get the glucose test done and some blood work preparing me for my upcoming delivery. He tells me I’m anemic and that’s why I’m so tired. Here I thought I was just pregnant and that’s why I felt the need to pass out every time I sat down. I am on iron pills now to get back to normal. I can already feel a difference, I mean I am still pregnant tired but I’m not the kind of exhausted that made my arms feel heavy.

Now on to the unpacking business. We had a few holdups with the move so we just moved into our house last week. It was a longer than expected wait but Baby T and I were right at home with my in laws. It actually made the holidays easier. On Christmas we all woke up when Baby T did. And my side of the family all met at one place. So instead of making our usual six to seven stops on Christmas day we only went to my sister’s, Baby T’s father’s family meal, and then Tota Ma’s, which was a stop on the way home. When we did get into our house we had to unpack all that was stored and our Christmas gifts.

I really could tell the difference of unpacking versus packing. Packing seemed to take forever. Where unpacking was simply putting things back in their place and there was a lot less to put away because we got rid of so much with the move. Lucky for me what things I needed to buy new or forgot I got as gifts this year. Kitchen stuff like baking wares and even a fresh new stock of goodies to bake like muffin and cookie mix. I still have some stuff at my in laws, stuff you could call my prized possessions because I don’t want them getting mistreated during the unpacking phase. I am not totally done yet. I got the living room and kitchen pretty much done but my room and Baby T’s toy rooms are half boxes and half-undone. We are getting there though. Not bad for a lady whose belly hits everything and everywhere before she does.

This week I had my weekly checkup with my doctor. We went over my due date and a surgery date. I must have a cesarean again. I had one when Baby T was born. Like I said this isn’t a good read for guys. It’s exciting to be so close to the end but at the same time a little scary because I never like the word surgery. I had originally been told that in two weeks I would go in, but this week I was told probably sooner depending on when the hospital has an operating room opening. As the doctor and his nurse went over dates, Baby T’s father and I sat there sort of shocked that it was so soon. First the doctor wants five days sooner than originally planned. The nurse informs him he’s booked up so no. Then they say, “How about the fourteenth.” I say, “Ok, next month that’s good.” Figuring it is two days after my due date but I am told by the doctor and nurse, “No, this Wednesday.” Before I can answer the nurse tells the doctor, “No there is no OR time then either.” Phew I was about to panic that I’m not due for a month and am unpacking my family’s life and still need to buy stuff for the baby! You get the picture.

Since the nurse and doctor cannot find me a time slot for surgery they tell me to just come back in another week and if I haven’t gotten a call from them by then about a surgery date I’ll find out at the next appointment. When I got into the car afterwards I couldn’t believe that if the doctor and the operating room were available I would have had two nights to prepare for a baby. Since then I have been home trying to unpack and wash as much baby stuff as I can. It seems like everyone is ready except me. Baby T is more than ready, poor kid has been waiting for this baby since he overheard my friends and me talking about it. Baby T’s father is ready too.

I just really thought I was going to go all the way to my due date. The first time they scheduled my Cesarean it was about three weeks earlier from the time I was due. I had two weeks to get used to the baby coming that much earlier. Now I don’t even know. I am uncertain about a few things. For example where did I pack the TV remote control? Which room will be Baby T’s and which will be the new baby’s? When will I be done unpacking? The one that bothers me the most is just when am I having this baby? I don’t like surprises and feel like the doctor is going to call me up and say, “It’s time, meet me at the hospital.” Which should be what I say when I call Baby T’s father. Well for now I am going to get back to unpacking and cooking Baby T dinner. I can’t sit here anymore because as I sit here all that sits with me is uncertainty.